Swanson Classics “Boneless Pork”

Its ironic that Swanson meals are run by the “Pinnacle Food Group” as this meal is nowhere near the pinnacle of anything. The target market for this meal is most likely the same people who would buy a McRib. Fortunately for this review I have consumed a McRib, and can tell you that if you were looking for a McRib substitute in TV-Dinner form to keep looking because this meal fails to deliver.

The carrots were the only redeeming part of this meal they tasted exactly like frozen carrots. The potatoes had an added bit of butter/margarine sauce to add some flavor and it did help quite a bit. However, the mashed potatoes failed miserably on a textural level and felt like trying to consume cotton balls. I had to add water back to the potatoes to make them possible to swallow. This is a 180 from the banquet brand meals which often have very soupy potatoes.

The meat, as you can see, appeared to be wallowing in what in reality looked closer to brown gravy than barbecue sauce. The sauce is a valiant attempt compared to most meat-patty sauces. It had a slight amount of spiciness to it along with the piquant note from vinegar as well as a sweetness and smokiness that is expected in most styles of barbecue sauce despite lacking a certain amount of ruddiness. The best way I can describe the taste and texture of the “Rib-Shaped” patty is if you were to imagine what it would be like to eat the illegitimate love-child of the patty from a salisbury steak meal and a Jimmy Dean sausage and cover it with barbecue sauce. Like most “meat patties” for meals in this price-range there is no need to pull out a fork to eat this as a spoon is all you need to cut through the meat.

I would recommend this meal if you were curious about trying it, but it certainly is not a freezer essential like other, more classic meals such as salisbury steak or meatloaf. My overall rating is thus a 66%.

Vital Statistics

Calories: 340

Total Fat: 14g

Cholesterol: 30mg

Sodium: 1060mg

Total Carbohydrates: 43g

Protein: 11g

Kosher: LOL

Time to Cook: 4 minutes for 1.1KW microwave

Suggested beverage pairings: Mexican beers, Coca-Cola, Lemonade

Price as tested: $1.33

Overall Rating: 66%

Banquet Select Recipes “Classic Fried Chicken”

What could be more classic than fried chicken? Nothing. Thats why this is the only banquet meal to my knowledge that uses “classic” as a descriptor. This meal is meant to remind you of all the times your mother would make you a delicious, crispy, batter-dipped chicken.

The meat in this dish is the chicken thigh, which, coincidentally is probably my favorite part of the chicken because it has good flavor and a lot of succulent fat and rarely gets dry and tough during cooking. Its also the cheapest part of a chicken as breasts, and wings command a premium. The price, and not the flavor is probably why the thigh appears in this meal, and really, the meat is quite good. the breading on the chicken leaves something to be desired, however. The breading is chewy, overly salty, and greasier than than the hair of a used car-salesman. Despite this, there was considerably less self-loathing that occurred after eating this meal when compared to that which I regularly experience with fried chicken from Church’s, Popeyes or KFC. I can only to go KFC once or twice a year, because after I eat it I always feel so dirty I have to take a shower. After eating KFC I feel like the only reason I did it was because I hate myself and wanted to be punished. All it takes is sharing a family-sized bucket meal with a few friends and you will know what I mean. However, I’m sure that if you ate three classic fried chicken meals, you would feel this same sense of loathing.

Despite the meal being premium, there is no added quality in the potatoes or corn compared to a standard banquet meal which have been reviewed before. Apparently, premium in this case means that the meat is from a recognizable part of an animal. The bottom-line is that this extra money for a premium entree is probably worth it in the banquet line. The extra $0.69 is well worth the peace of mind that comes from eating a animal part that is identifiable. This is a pretty standard TV-Dinner and one you shouldn't feel ashamed about opening when you have a night all to yourself. It not that good, but not that bad which is why I give it a 81%.

Vital Statistics

Calories: 440

Total Fat: 26g

Cholesterol: 80mg

Sodium: 1140mg

Total Carbohydrates: 30g

Protein: 22g

Kosher: yes

Time to Cook: 5 minutes for 1.1KW microwave

Suggested beverage pairings: Milk, Chocolate Milk, Pepsi products, OE 400/Colt 45

Price as tested: $1.69

Overall Rating: 81%