Banquet Brand “Chicken Fingers Meal”

 

The most appalling part of this meal is not the fact that this they are serving a part of a chicken that doesn’t exist, the fingers. That said, still the meat the “fingers” are made of is unidentifiable and we are just going have to take their word on it actually being chicken because it sort of tastes like it. No, the most appalling part of this meal is the macaroni and cheese. I was looking forward to s side dish that wasn’t corn or mashed potatoes. Part of the problem was that the macaroni couldn’t even be considered “warm”, despite the cooking directions being followed exactly. It was bad enough that it was cold, but the flavor probably would not be improved at all if it were atomically hot.  The brownie tasted like all tv dinner brownies do, so if you like them you’ll like this brownie. Personally I like these well enough, however, I hope it doesn’t stick to my innards as badly as these things stick to the spoon.

 

If banquet were to make a dinner that consisted of only the macaroni and cheese, it would receive my stamp of disapproval. The stuff is nasty, it doesn’t taste like macaroni, it doesn’t taste like cheese. Its watery. So far, all of the banquet dinners offered elements that weren’t good, but at the same time, they weren’t bad. This macaroni, however, is bad. If this meal came with potatoes or corn, it would probably get a 76%, but the macaroni is that bad, so it gets a 62%.

 

Vital Statistics

 

Calories: 490

Total Fat: 20g

Cholesterol: 50mg

Sodium: 730mg

Potassium: 470mg

Total Carbohydrates: 59g

Protein: 18g

Kosher: Likely

Time to Cook: 2.75- 3 minutes for 1.1KW microwave

Suggested beverage pairing: Hi-C, Hawaiian Punch, wine coolers

Overall Rating: 62%

Rating and Reviewing Critera

I thought it would be helpful to in the early stages of this adventure set some guidelines for ratings and determining what is actually a TV dinner.  My ratings essentially is a measure of how well does this diner meet expectations. Hence, the experience you expect from a TV dinner in general will receive an average, 70%, rating.  An above average rating will be a dinner that meets or exceeds some expectations and dinner reaching the 90% plus range will have to exceed all expectations. It’s hard to quantify my personal expectations, but hopefully this guide will help.

 

Rating, Points	Criteria
100-93	If this was served to you on a plate you might have suspected it came in TV Dinner form, but are not totally certain. “Must Try” to “Highly recommended”
92-83	Highly Recommended.
82-70	This is the TV dinner that probably pops into your head when imagining one. Recommended.
69-59	Recommended with hesitations.
58-0	“Recommended with hesitations” all the way to “Do not eat, ever”

 

As far as what is a TV diner and what is not a TV dinner is concerned and my reviewing standards, I have arranged a bulleted list.

 

-       The dinner must be cooked in the microwave

-       The dinner itself must give the impression that it alone is all you need to have a satisfying dinner for one.

-       Nothing may be added to the dinner to make it more palatable before and during consumption. No salt, butter, sour cream etc.

-       It must be self-contained. So things like adding your own water to the dish in order to cook it is strictly forbidden.

-       The meals should come in some sort of plastic or cardboard tray. It may or may not have a divider.

-       Things that are strictly forbidden from being a TV dinner include, pizza, Hot-Pockets, meals in bags, and breakfast items. Frozen Pizzas and hot –pocket like devices should really have their own websites. Comparing frozen pizzas to TV dinners and most other things that are strictly forbidden above is an apples to oranges sort of comparison in my mind.

 

Hopefully this will help you make better sense of the rating system and understanding what I actually will and will not review for this site. 

Banquet Brand "Salisbury Steak Meal"

Salisbury steak is probably the quintessential TV dinner variety. The Banquet Brand “Salisbury Steal Meal” does not disappoint in this respect. It smells very appetizing from the microwave. It looks on par for a TV dinner. It comes with the same corn and mashed potatoes that came with the chicken fried chicken. However, the meal fails to deliver any one stand out element. The Salisbury steak itself was more reminiscent of a grilled piece of meatloaf. The gravy that came with it seems to essentially be a beef broth that has been gelatinized. Once again the meat is processed enough to be easily cut with a spoon. All in all I would say that this was once again an average TV dinner. This is the kind of flavor, taste and quality you would expect when you get a TV dinner.

 

Vital Statistics

 

Calories: 290

Total Fat: 16g

Cholesterol: 30mg

Sodium: 1100mg

Potassium: 380mg

Total Carbohydrates: 25g

Protein: 11g

Kosher: Most assuredly not

Price as Tested: $0.88

Time to Cook: 5.5-6.0 minutes for 1.1KW microwave

Suggested beverage pairing: Milk, Seagrams Gin, Diet Pepsi

 

Overall Rating: 70%

Banquet Brand Chicken Fried Chicken Meal

The chicken fried chicken is paired with a side of mashed potatoes and corn. The corn itself is average as are the mashed potatoes and the chicken. The chicken is very processed in texture and can be easily cut with a spoon. The standout element in this dinner is by far the gravy. It had a lovely peppery flavor and the texture was adequately gravy like. All in all, the TV dinner was about what I was expecting and hence, an average rating. The potatoes almost assuredly existed in the dehydrated flake phase before being reconstituted and packaged into the PETE tray, however the flavor was average still.

Calories: 350

Total Fat: 18g

Cholesterol: 35mg

Sodium: 950mg

Potassium: 460mg

Total Carbohydrates: 36g

Protein: 13g

Kosher: Maybe

Price as Tested: $0.88

Time to Cook: 6-6.5 minutes for 1.1KW microwave

Suggested beverage pairing: Dry white wines, Coke

 

Overall Rating: 76%

Hello, and welcome to my fabulous journey. I will use this blog to share my thoughts an opinions on TV dinners I have consumed. This journey all started after buying 3 Banquet TV Dinners at Wal-Mart for only $0.88 each and decided that it would be nice if people knew what they were getting into before buying a TV dinner. I myself stood in front of the freezer at Wal-Mart trying to decide upon the salisbury steak dinner or the country fried chicken dinner. I hope that this blog will turn into a sort of north star for navigating the ocean of TV dinners and prove itself an invaluable resource for planning the TV dinners you serve at your next dinner party, bat-mitzvah, and even when your just having a relaxing evening in front of the TV. 

Aaron